100 Ways To Kill Dylan
by Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia
Summary: Everyone hates Dylan right? Well, I decided to kill him 100 times. Plus each one has a story behind it. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride, Death Note, Bleach, My Little Pony, McDonalds, Justin Bieber, Green Day, Pokemon, Percy Jackson and Skyrim... and whatever else I missed.**

100 Ways To Kill Dylan

**1) Dylan falls off a cliff**

Dylan was running to take off in a field.

"Dylan! Watch out for that rock!" Gazzy called out. But by then it was to late. Dylan started to free-fall.

"Dude! You have wings!" Iggy yelled down, poking his head over the edge.

"Oh Ye-"

_SPLAT_

**2) Dylan randomly combusts**

"No! Dylan don't sit-" Gazzy started to say before Dylan sat on the chair next to Gazzy's.

_BOOM._

**3) Dylan gets injected with the wrong vaccine**

"Here Dylan, this should cure your flu," Dr. G-H said, loading a syringe with a purple liquid.

"Thanks Dr. G-H," Dylan croaked. The doctor shoved the needle into Dylan's arm.

"Hey Hans? Have you seen my poison?" Jeb asked, walking into the lab.

"Which one's that poison?"

"The purple one in the square beaker."

"Oh no."

Hans and Jeb looked over at Dylan, who was choking.

"Good to know it works," Jeb said.

**4) Dylan eats Max's cookies that she tried to make**

Dylan saw a plate of cookies lying on the counter. He looked around and shrugged before taking one off the plate.

He took a bite of the cookie and fell over in agony, not breathing.

Max walked in and observed the bird-boy lying on the floor, cookie in hand.

"Is my cooking _that bad?"_

**5) Dylan smells Gazzy on taco night**

Gazzy ate his fifth bean burrito on the flock's taco night.

"He's about to blow!" Nudge screamed, diving into another room. The other members proceeded to throw themselves out the window, run upstairs or lock themselves in the bedroom (*coughMaxandFangcough*). But Dylan remained.

Gazzy let out a green cloud that floated over to Dylan who started to choke and then eventually die because of the horrible odor.

**6) Dylan gets struck by lightning**

Dylan was flying in the air, carrying a bunch of keys; it was something for a bomb that Gazzy and Iggy were trying to make.

Dylan didn't see the huge storm cloud creeping up slowly.

He kept flying though.

He heard something, a huge crackling sound, fallowed with a huge banging sound.

Dylan felt as if he stuck all his limbs into giant electric sockets before he fell out of the sky.

Lesson: Don't fly with keys during a thunderstorm. You will die.

**7) Dylan gets eaten by sharks**

The flock was at the aquarium.

Max thought it would be a good experience for them to see the aquatic animals.

Fang and Max were fidgeting the whole time.

"Max! Can we go see a platypus?" Angel shrieked.

"Sure…?" Max said, before mouthing to Fang "What the hell is a platypus?".

Dylan fallowed Iggy, Gazzy and Fang to look at the sharks.

"Whoa! Look at that one!" Gazzy yelled, pressing his face up to the glass.

"Yeah, it's pretty cool, for a fish," Fang said, leaning back onto the wall opposite of the Great White.

"Hey Dylan, I bet you can't fly over the cage and dip your foot in," Iggy said, knowing no one was any where close to this room.

"Okay, but if I do, you owe me ten dollars," Dylan agreed.

"Deal."

Dylan flew up over the shark tank and dipped his foot in the water.

The shark jumped up and ate him.

"Let's go look at the penguins now!" Gazzy exclaimed excitedly before running off into the next room unfazed.

**8) Fang sees Dylan kissing Max**

Dylan kissed Max sweetly, pressing her against the wall.

Max kissed back, imagining it was Fang and not Dylan.

"Why are you kissing Max?" Fang asked calmly, his fists balled up tightly.

"Oh no," Dylan muttered.

**9) Dylan swallows a half dollar**

"How'd he swallow a half dollar?" Max yelled.

"I don't know miss, but he did. Somehow…" A doctor said.

**10) Dylan randomly combusts in flames**

"Dylan, can you grab me that lighter over there?" Iggy asked, sticking his hand out.

To bad Dylan didn't know it was defective, he grabbed it and it exploded, burning him. He was burned from head to toe, turning to ashes.

"Dylan! Waiting for that lighter!" Iggy yelled.

**11) Dylan gets hit by car**

Dylan ran across to road, trying to run from Fang, who had seen him kissing Max.

All of the sudden a car whacked into him.

"Well, now I won't be charged for murder," Fang said, before walking back to the house.

**12) Dylan gets abducted by aliens**

Suddenly, a huge beam of blue light was displayed on Dylan. He started floating upwards.

"What the heck?" He screamed, before he slipped into unconsciousness.

He woke up, hearing people speaking Spanish or something above him. He pried open his eyes and seeing to odd-looking people.

He shrieked and scooted back.

"Aliens," he whispered before one of the green weirdoes came up to him and started sawing his chest open.

**13) Dylan drinks hot sauce tainted soda (PS Offset made this one up)**

Dylan was facing Fang at the diner.

"Look man, I'm really sorry about the whole chasing and almost killing you

thing," Fang said. "Let me get you a soda to make it up to you."

"Thanks man, and I accept your apology." Dylan replied, sipping on the soda.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, Dylan saw a bottle of ghost chile hot sauce that was on the table before, but now it was half empty.

All of a sudden, his mouth was heating up, and his throat was bleeding and his eyes melted.

**14) Dylan gets sucked up by a tornado**

"Dylan! Watch out for the tomato!"

"Gazzy! It's a tornado!"

"Oh. Where'd Dylan go?"

**15) Dylan gets rabies**

"Hey Max, Total needs to get his rabies shots," Iggy says.

Suddenly they hear Dylan screaming.

"I'll call my mom," Max says.

**16) Iggy accidentally shoots Dylan**

"Hey guys! Look at this!" Iggy exclaims, holding a gun.

"Cool, does it have bullets and stuff in it?" Gazzy asks.

"I don't think so…"

"Well try shooting it!"

Sadly (not really), neither of them noticed that Dylan was standing in front of them.

**17) Dylan dies from hot tub heat**

"Iggy! How'd you drown him in a hot tub?"

"He didn't drown, we made it as hot as the sun. You know, if there was water on the sun."

**18) Dylan eats too much McDonalds**

"I don't feel so good," Dylan says.

"Ew. You ate McDonalds? I think there's horse in that food. I bet the infuse meat into their soda. Do you like rat soda Dylan? I sure don't. I bet they serve dogs in the fries! Good job Dylan, you just ate Total in French fry form. Ha! That's funny! Say French fry form five times fast! FRENCH FRY FORM! FRENCH FRY FORM! FRENCH FRY FORM! FRENCH FRY FORM! Ha! That's fun. You try it Dylan! Dylan? Are you ok? Are you dead? See, this is what you get for eating horse burgers, Total French fries and rat soda," Nudge babbles. Too bad Dylan didn't hear any of it.

**19) Dylan chokes on a Lego**

"Hey Dylan? Have you seen any of my Legos? I think I dropped a brick on a sandwich earlier…" Gazzy says.

**20) Dylan gets stung by 1500 bees**

"Poor Dylan. He's all lumpy."

**21) Dylan gets ****3,785,412 paper cuts**

"Why'd we go to a paper factory again?" Max asks Angel.

"I think it was Iggy's idea…" Angel says.

**22) Dylan gets mauled by a polar bear **

"Aw! Look how cute it is!" Angel exclaims, looking at a wild polar bear.

"No! Don't touch it flock! It could maul you," Max advises wisely.

Dylan didn't hear this warning. Dylan walked slowly towards the polar bear, being pulled in by its cuteness. He reached out his hand to touch its snow white fur. Then, the polar bear jumped on him.

"Stupid bird-boy," Angel says, shaking her head in disgust.

**23) ****Dylan slips on a banana peel**

"Hey guys, clean up these banana peels before someone gets hurt," Max says.

"Psh. That only happens in cartoons," Dylan says. He walks over to the fridge. Or at least he tries before slipping and falling, whacking his head hard on the ground.

"Whoa," Gazzy says. "He slipped on a banana peel! Just like in the cartoons I watch!"

**24) Dylan get attacked by robots**

"Dylan! Watch out! We made a robot!" Nudge screams.

"What?" Dylan asks, stupidly standing in the same spot. Then, a huge zapping sound echoes through the house. All that's left of Dylan and Mr. Toaster-Bot-7000 is a big black spot in the living room.

**25) Dylan gets ripped to shreds by lawn mower**

"Dylan! Mow the lawn!" Iggy says.

"Why don't you do it?"

"I'm _blind_. I can't mow the lawn."

"Sure. It's not like you can make bombs or cook or anything," Dylan says, rolling his eyes and walks out the door.

Iggy didn't hear him though. "And Dylan, don't use the one on the left, it's defective."

Dylan walks out to the shed. "Hm, I think the one on the left looks better."

I bet you could figure out what happened next.

**26) Dylan listens to Justin Bieber**

"Oh my gosh, why do the play him on the radio?" Max says, wrinkling her nose.

"Ew! Justin Beiber! Leave the room!" Nudge screams, walking out of the room. Gazzy follows behind her.

"You shout a lot Nudge."

"Hey, what's on the radio?" Dylan asks himself. Then, his ears started melting.

**27) Dylan goes back in time and gets eaten by dinosaurs**

Dylan walks through Dr. G-H's lab.

"Woah. This button is shiny!" Dylan exclaims, pressing the shimmery purple button. Suddenly he's face to face with a huge T-Rex.

He roared loudly in his face before chewing on him.

**28) Dylan falls in a wood shredder**

"Dylan, can you help me get rid of this old wood?" Iggy asks.

"Sure," He agrees, picking up some wood.

"Now all you do, is shove the wood in this end, and boom! It's gone."

Dylan started putting wood in the wood shredder, and then he fell in.

Iggy is forever haunted by Dylan's screams.

**29) Dylan drowns in a toilet **

Dylan falls in a toilet, face first. He tries getting out, but his big head gets stuck. He quickly drowns.

**30) Dylan gets eaten by a snake **

"Okay guys, I think we go this way," Fang says, pointing to a small path.

"Fang, when are we getting there?" Gazzy whines. "I don't like the jungle!"

"Shut up Gazzy, when we meet Max and the girls we can get out," Iggy shoving Gazzy. Gazzy smashed into a tree and an Anaconda falls out on top of Gazzy.

Gazzy screams. Dylan pulls Gazzy out of the way. Not so sadly, the snake targets Dylan.

"Ew," Gazzy cringes, watching the snake choke down Dylan.

"Hurry up guys!" Fang calls, walking ahead.

**31) Dylan gets trapped in a giant cocoon **

"WHAT THE HECK?" Dylan says as a giant spider wraps him in a cocoon. Then, it slowly sucks the blood out of him.

**32) Dylan gets stomped on by elephants**

"Hey Dylan, watch out!" Nudge called out.

Dylan didn't hear the warning, getting caught up in a herd of elephants. He starts running but trips, being stomped all over by the animals.

**33) Dylan falls into the alligator pit at the zoo**

"But I wanna pet an alligator Max!" Angel complains.

"No Ange," It'll bite your hand off."

Angel sighs, "Fine."

Suddenly, Dylan really wants to pet an alligator. He leans over the railing, stretching his arm out. He almost reaches one before toppling over.

The alligators get a nice snack.

**34) Dylan gets hit by a cannon **

"Whoa, do you think this works?" Gazzy asks Max.

"I don't know," Max says.

Gazzy grins, pushing a cannonball into it. "Hey Iggy! Can I have a lighter?"

"No Gazzy! Someone will get hurt!" Max says.

"So you'd mind if Dylan gets hurt?" Iggy asks.

"Fire away," Max says, walking over to Fang.

**35) Dylan gets murdered by Kira**

"Hey Light, I saw this kid that looks a lot like you!" Misa says.

"Really?" Light says narrowing his eyes. Ryuk laughs.

"Misa? What was his name?" Light asks, pen ready.

"Um… Dylan Gunther-Hagen," Misa says brightly.

"Thank you Misa, now this world is so much better," Light says, embracing her.

"Dylan? Why'd you just fall over?" Max asks, shaking him.

**36) Dylan get's eaten by a hollow (I read/watch too much Bleach and Death Note :D)**

"Move it!" Ichigo yells to Dylan.

"Who the heck are you?" Dylan asks.

"None of your business. Now move!" Ichigo yells.

"W-What's that!" Dylan screams, seeing a monster behind Ichigo. The hollow picks up Dylan.

"I told you to move!" He yells, pulling out his zanpaktuō. But by then, it was to late. The hollow had already eaten his soul. And Ichigo kills both hollows.

**37) Dylan drinks nuclear waste**

"Hey Total, do you know what kind of soda was in that cup?" Dylan asks.

"Oh no," Total says, looking up at Dylan, who was choking and purple.

**38) Dylan drowns in pudding**

"Whose idea was it to fill a swimming pool with pudding?" Fang asks, raising his eyebrow at the four birdkids and the mutant dog.

**39) Dylan falls down a flight of concrete stairs**

"Race down the stairs!" Angel, Nudge, Iggy, Gazzy, Total and Dylan raced down the large flight of concrete stairs.

"I'm gonna win!" Iggy screams, advancing above any of them.

"No way!" Dylan screams, running in front of Iggy. Iggy glares, jumping in front of him.

"Hey!" Nudge yells, running in front of Dylan. He narrows his eyes and quickly sticks his foot out, tripping Dylan. Dylan quickly falls down the stairs, whacking his head on the concrete dozens of times.

"I win!" Angel screams.

"Ha! You guys got beat by a girl!" Nudge taunts.

**40) Dylan gets attacked by a ninja**

"Whoa! It's a ninja!" Dylan says. Then, she attacks him.

**41) Dylan gets mobbed by teenage girls**

"Oh my gosh! Justin Bieber!" A girl yells, pointing at him. She and her friends flock him.

"No! No! Get away!" Dylan screams as the girls tear him apart.

**42) Dylan falls in a volcano**

Dylan was scouting for a place to stay on an island.

Suddenly, something hits his wings and he falls down into the volcano.

**43) Dylan listens to Green Day (Its so awesome his brain combusts)**

"Whoa, what's this band?" Dylan asks.

"Green Day. Awesome right?" Max asks, getting up. "Well, I'm gonna go find Fang."

Suddenly, Dylan feels a sudden disturbance in his brain. He suddenly feels like his brain was swelling. Then, his head explodes

**44) Dylan gets captured by the evil leprechauns who don't give you marshmallows in your cereal**

"Wait! Where are you talking me?" Dylan screams, being dragged buy at least fifteen leprechauns.

One of them pulls out a knife and grins. Dylan screams.

**45) Dylan gets crushed by a disco ball**

"Dude, where'd you get a disco ball?" Iggy asks Nudge.

**46) Dylan chokes on a crayon**

"Hey Dylan? Do you want to color with me?" Angel asks, blinking innocently.

"Um…sure?" Dylan agrees in a questioning tone. "What are we going to color?"

"Well I'm gonna color a tiger, you can do whatever though," Angel says, picking out a orange crayon. Dylan stares at the pile of crayons. He picks up the blue crayon. _I wonder what blue tastes like…_

"Dylan? Do you know where the blue crayon is?" Angel asks, still looking at her disoriented picture of a tiger instead of at Dylan.

**47) Dylan sniffs to many sharpies**

"Ok, we're not going to anymore factories," Dr. M says, looking at Dylan.

**48) Dylan gets in a fight with Max**

"Stay away from me you creep!" Max screams, punching Dylan in the face.

"I'm not a creep!" Dylan yells, kicking her in the chest. She narrows her eyes, kicking the backs of his knees, and then stomping on his head.

**49) Dylan becomes a lumberjack**

Dylan chops down another tree. "Timber!"

The tree falls on top of him.

**50) Dylan didn't read the sign**

_Don't bother Fang during his alone time_

Too bad he didn't read it.

**51) Dylan gets eaten by the moustache monster**

"Whoa! Whoa created that thing!" Iggy yells, pointing at the huge monster.

"Sorry!" Jeb yells. "Watch out Dylan!"

Then, it gobbles Dylan up.

**52) Dylan discovers Pikachu**

"Aw, look how cute it-AH!" He screams, being electrocuted by the Pikachu.

The little animal grins and scampers off.

**53) Dylan gets overstretched by a taffy stretcher**

"Ok, how'd he fall in there?" Max asks.

"This guy has bad luck," Fang says.

**54) Dylan gets eaten by gummy bears**

"Ah! How did gummy bears come to life?"

"Glauhurgiq!" The green gummy bear screams before starting to eat his shoe **(Lol, SdA, you get that don't you?)**

"Kygliqgqbyvuw!" The purple one gurgles before grabbing a knife.

**55) Dylan gets tangled in Nudges hair**

"Nudge, we'll have to cut all this off," Max says, looking at Nudge's mane.

"No Max! I like my hair!"

"Well Dylan got choked in it!" They both look over at Dylan, still tangled in Nudges hair.

**56) Dylan gets torn to pieces because he steals the mascara from the Aphrodite cabin**

"I didn't mean too! I didn't mean it!" You can have it back!" Dylan pleads as the girls rip him to shreds with their manicured nails.

**57) Dylan gets the Dylan virus**

"Dr. G-H, I don't feel so good," Dylan says, stumbling in the lab.

"Oh no, Dylan. This is bad," Dr. G-H says, frantically searching through files. Dylan just groans and grabs his stomach.

"What's happening to me?"

"Well, you're insides will turn to mush before you know it. You have…the Dylan Virus."

Suddenly, Dylan collapses.

**58) Dylan meets a dragon**

"Cool, a dragon!" Nudge says, staring intensely at the little purple creature.

Dylan looks at it in awe. "I didn't know these existed."

"Well I didn't know flying kids do either," Nudge says sarcastically.

Dylan rolls his eyes, "No need for sarcasm Nudge."

"D-Dylan!" Nudge yells, pointing behind him.

"What do you wa-" Then the dragon gobbled him up.

**59) A giant sits on Dylan**

"Hey! I'm standi-" Dylan starts before the giant sits down.

"Ah, I haven't squished a kid this horrible in a while," The giant says, kicking back.

**60) Dylan gets caught in an avalanche **

"Man, I love skiing. It's so much fun. I don't think I've done anything funner in a long time. Wait…funner isn't a word! Funner. It sounds like a word…but its not. Huh. Funner is a funny word. Lol. What do you think Dylan? Is funner a funny word? Well Dylan? Dylan? Are you list-"

"SHUT UP NUDGE!" He screams. His voice echoes off the mountain. "Oh crap."

**61) Dylan gets buried in cement**

"How'd he manage to get buried in cement?"

"He probably broke 30 mirrors or something."

**62) Dylan gets hit by an icicle**

The flock walks through a place with icicles. Then Dylan gets hit with one.

THE END. **(…this is pathetic)**

**63) Dylan gets attacked by an undead hobo (Lol. Don't you love inside jokes?)**

"I should have never bet Iggy to do this," Dylan mutters under his breath as he walks through the graveyard. His eyes fall upon a hunched figure. "Who are you?"

The figure stands up, moans and hobbles over.

"Holy crap! It's a zombie hobo!"

**64) Dylan gets hit by a meteor**

"Whoa. Pretty," Dylan says while looking at the sky. Then the meteor squishes him.

**65) Dylan gets hit by a flying couch**

"Get rid of this couch! Now!" Max yells.

"Whoa, someone's bossy," Fang mutters as Iggy and him throw the couch out the window.

"God Fang!" She screams.

"PMS," They both say before leaving the room. They didn't even realize where the couch landed.

**66) Dylan falls on broken glass**

"Erasers!" Nudge shrieks as the wolf-men burst through the window.

Dylan starts fighting before one of the erasers shoved him on the ground under the broken window.

**67) Dylan chokes on bacon**

"Dude, I wish I could've died like he did," Iggy muses.

**68) Dylan gets attacked by squirrels **

"No! Get off me squirrels! I don't have any acorns!" Dylan shrieks, jumping up and down trying to shake off the squirrels.

"Aw. Squirrels are so cute!" Angel coos.

**69) Dylan falls in a deep fryer**

"So what happened?" Fang asks another worker at the fast food restaurant.

"He tripped I think," The worker says, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Oh, ok," Fang says, dragging Dylan's crispy remains out of the restaurant.

**70) Dylan falls in a pit of cactuses (Lol SdA)**

"Hey Dylan, I'd watch out if I were you," Angel sings out.

"What do you mean by that?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Just saying," She giggles before running off to Max.

"That stupid brat, what's that supposed to me-AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Dylan shrieks, falling into a pit of cactuses.

"SERVES YOU RIGHT!" Angel screams.

**71) Dylan gets run over by Thomas the Train Engine**

"What the heck? Is this some kind of cartoon?" Dylan says before Thomas makes him into a Dylan pancake.

**72) Dylan falls into a giant fan**

"Woah, that thing is huge!" Gazzy screams.

"That's what she said," Iggy snickers. Gazzy elbows him.

"Woah, how'd you get a fan that huge?"

"I don't know, but I found it around a trash can behind some building. I wonder why…"

Then Dylan trips and falls in.

"I think I figured it out…" Gazzy says.

**73) Dylan gets scared to death**

"BOO!" Nudge screams, jumping out at Dylan.

Dylan screams and falls over. Nudge stares at him for a moment.

"Are you ok?" She asks, kicking his head.

**74) Dylan falls on Lego (BTW, Lego is my cactus-puppy)**

Dylan sees a little dog. He walks toward it. But then, he trips over a rock and falls face first on Lego.

**75) Dylan gets shoved in the oven**

"Oh no! It's a witch!" A little kid screams, seeing Dylan in a witch costume.

"Let's shove her in an oven!"

"No!" Dylan screams. "I'm not a real witch! I'm a dude!"

**76) Dylan gets his face ripped off by rabid monkeys**

"No! Get off me monkey! I don't have a freaking bananAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!"

**77) Dylan gets eaten by worms**

"Whoa. There are a lot of worms over there."

**78) Dylan takes a nap**

Dylan flops on his bed, not noticing it's been replaced with a bed of needles.

**79) Dylan gets attacked by Cannibalistic Frenchie**

"Whoa, who are you?" Dylan asks, looking at a strange girl.

"They call me Cannibalistic Frenchie," She says, her eyes giving him a strange look from behind her glasses.

"Who are they? And why do they call you that?" Dylan asks.

"You may know one of my friends. Her names Hex…and a lot more letters at the end."

"Oh no, you're her friend! I have to get away!" Dylan yells. Then CF pounces on him.

**80) Dylan gets Futtershy'd**

"Dude, I think I'm in a cartoon again. And why the heck am I a pony?" Dylan mutters to himself. "Oh my gosh. Stupid bunny!"

Dylan stomps Angel to death.

"Angel? Where are you?" Fluttershy calmly calls. She walks over and sees Dylan and Angel. She twitches. "What did you do to Angel?"

**81) Dylan gets bored to death**

"Man, it so BORING here," Dylan says. Suddenly, he dies.

**82) Dylan gets covered with tuna and gets thrown into a pit of hungry kitties**

"Yes Mr. Porridge Fields!" A random girl cheers, looking down into the pit of kitties.

**83) Dylan tries to make homemade popcorn**

"We should try to make homemade popcorn!"

"Um…. How?"

"I think Dylan knows how!"

**84) Dylan becomes a voodoo doll**

Fang makes a Dylan voodoo doll. He chops the voodoo dolls head off, stomps on it, puts it through a shredder then burns the remains.

Poor dYLAN.

**85) Dylan gets turned to mush (SdA TOTALLY made this one, she gets all the credit)**

"Hey guys! I got a new power! Or…a power…" Iggy screams.

"Well what is it?" Nudge asks.

"I'll show you!" Iggy says. "I'll do it to that lamp."

"No Iggy! That's not a lamp!" Total screams.

Then, Dylan turns to mush.

"Dude, I wanna drink him," Gazzy says.

"GAZZY!" Nudge screams.

**86) Dylan gets attacked by skeleton warriors**

"RMFG! SKELETON WARRIORS!" Nudge screams (as usual…). Dylan wasn't paying attention.

**87) Dylan gets sucked up by a vacuum**

"Whoa. A giant vacuum!"

"Dude, we should try to turn it on."

**88) Dylan stepped on by a sasquatch**

Dylan hears a loud howl.

"Woah, what was that?" Then, a huge foot comes out of no where and squishes him.

**89) Dylan dives in an empty pool**

Dylan jumps on a diving board, fully concentrated. He jumps, then hits the bottom and his head cracks open.

**90) Dylan gets hit by a ufo**

"Whoa! UFO!" Dylan says, pointing at it right before it hits him.

"Pointing is rude human."

**91) Dylan gets stabbed by a pencil**

Dylan's at school, then a random kid throws a really sharp pencil at him. It goes through his eye and stabs his brain.

**92) Dylan gets addicted to Skyrim and forgets to eat**

"DYLAN! TIME FOR DINNER!"

"PLAYING SKYRIM!"

"DYLAN! YOU HAVE TO EAT!"

"PLAYING SKYRIM!"

This goes on for days.

**93) Dylan dies from my mum's awesome cookies**

"Oh my gosh! THESE are AWESOME!" Dylan says. His stomach explodes of awesomeness.

**94) Dylan chokes on a spit ball**

"SPIT BALL FIGHT!"

"YEAH!" Dylan screams, then one gets lodged in his throat and he chokes.

**95) Dylan hit on the head by a bowling ball**

"We should have never gone bowling," Max says.

"Dylan always gets hurt though," Fang says.

**96) Dylan gets surgery from Maxiod and Miles**

"I think he needs to get his kidney removed," Max says, pulling out a saw.

"Where's that?" Miles asks.

**97) Dylan falls in a pit of red ants (this actually happened to my uncle…except he didn't die)**

"RMFG! PIT!" Dylan says walking around in the Philippines. Then ants started crawling all over him and eating him away.

**98) Dylan enters an all you can eat contest and explodes**

"COOKIE EATING CONTEST!"

xX FIVE MINUTES LATER Xx

"Dylan, are you ok?"

**99) Dylan gets a tattoo**

"Woah, that REALLY hurt," Dylan says.

Dr. G-H strolls in. "By the way you're allergic to body ink."

"Oh crap."

**100!) Dylan gets stabbed by George the Narwhal**

"Ok George, on my command," I say, standing on his back.

"Yes ma'am," He gurgles in a deep voice. Dylan strolls by the pond.

"Go under," I say, crouching down. He focuses and his horn glows at the tip, willing me to breath under water.

"_Now!" _I shout under water. He swims up and stabs Dylan through the heart. "Success!"

**OMGerard. Thanks to all my friends, siblings and cousins who helped me with this. -tears up- I COULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS WITHOUT YOU.**

**~Hex**


End file.
